No one wants to make fun of a tragedy, and this argument is not intended to either.  But, come on, folks, you buy a ticket for a cruise and you just take for granted that the captain of the ship knows his business, is a professional and will always make decisions on behalf of his passengers, crew, and self – in that order.

Not in Italy.

As people are still being pulled out of the hull and the boat seems to sink deeper and deeper and the fear of its fuel opening into the ocean and the sheer madness displayed by the captain in recordings and in witness accounts – ten million people are most likely taking cruise trips in the next year.

If you’ve been on a cruise, there is a part where you do a life vest and life boat drill.  In most cases, people doing the drill are inebriated and the crew turns the other cheek.  In all cases, the drill relates to getting off a ship that is upright, not on its side.

In this situation, no one knew what to do.

Except the captain.

And, he abandoned ship.

“What do you mean, Hall passes?” I asked.

“You have a lot of social events that involve dinner and drinks.  If you just stop drinking, you will draw attention to what you’re doing and if you do that, you’re saying you have a problem; and you don’t want to do that.”  Said Cole, finishing his drink.

“You’re right, you’re right.”

“So, you have to have a hall pass and that’s even harder than anything else because you just have to consume less on purpose, drink slower, sip a bit and say you have to get up early in the morning, or you have some work to do tonight, or something.” 

“Yeah, that’s good.  People will accept that and people that I know who I drink with will most likely be happening on weekends, so I should be cool.  Honestly, not having a drink during the week will be good for me.”

“Yes, but you have to have the power to do it, my brother.  If you can’t do it, then you have a problem.  And, if you don’t admit to it, then you need help.”

“It’s that simple.”

We can all be hell to others – even to ourselves.  So, read the ideas below if you’re the employee and think it out a bit more if you are your own employee.

Suggestions for people trying to survive an unhappy job environment:

Ask if you can telecommute at least once a week.

Ask for a more flexible schedule, such as working early-morning, late-night or weekend shifts.  This will allow you to avoid trouble with co-workers as well as traffic.

Move closer to work.  This will allow you to get in to work earlier, without a long commute; you stay fresher and happier throughout the day.

Make an anonymous suggestion for corporate retreats/seminars covering topics such as teamwork, anger/stress management or cultural sensitivity.

If you have a really boring job, ask if you can contribute in more creative ways that might be fun.  For example, if you enjoy writing, volunteer to do the company newsletter (in exchange for doing less official work, of course)

Start using financial planning tools like Mint.com or Wesabe.com which allows you to quickly see your total assets and liabilities.  Knowing your financial situation will give you more incentive to stick it out in a bad job.

The following are guidelines on what you should tip for various services, according to hospitality and etiquette experts:

Taxi.

Ten percent to 15 percent of the bill; slightly more for short trips since most cabbies prefer fares to the airport

Shuttle to or from hotel or airport.

$1 or $2 goes a long way for a helpful driver, since many aren’t expecting anything

Skycap.

$1 per bag

Valet.

$1 or $2 per car

Hotel maid.

$1–$2 for each night, left at checkout time

Pizza and other deliveries.

Ten percent of bill

Room service.

Usually added into bill at 15 percent to 20 percent. If not already on the bill, leave 15 percent, or $2 minimum

Barber or hairdresser.

Ten percent to 15 percent of bill; double that amount for a holiday bonus

Guard your valuables.

Don’t leave purses, wallets, keys, or other personal belongings out where they’re easy pickings for thieves. Lock them up, or keep them with you at all times.

Know how to phone for help.

Do you need to dial 9 for an outside line? Be sure you can pick up the phone and dial 911 (or any other emergency number) quickly in the event of an emergency.

Don’t work late alone.

et up a buddy system when you stay late at work so you’re not completely on your own. Let people (and your building manage­ment or security) know where you are, and stay in touch with them so they’ll be able to respond quickly if you have a problem.

Know your entrances and exits.

Be sure you know how to get out of the office (and the building) in a hurry if you need to—and how anyone else might get in without being obvious. Don’t prop doors open for easy access—thieves and others watch for any holes they can find in your company’s security.

Don’t ignore strangers.

If you spot someone you don’t know wandering around your work area, politely ask if you can help him or her. Most crooks will leave immediately once they realize someone’s watching them.

Keep your own emergency kit.

Many companies maintain emergency equipment—first aid supplies, flashlights, etc. Whether your employer does this or not, keep some basic supplies at your desk or in your purse or briefcase: adhesive bandages, a small flashlight, a few granola bars, water, etc.

Report security loopholes.

Be on the lookout for burned-out lights, doors that don’t close all the way, and other potential problems a crook might exploit. Report them to management immediately so they can be fixed promptly.

So, the Bizpain thing is on the lower side, I think.  But, the Lifepain is a bit higher; probably average with other people in my category (whatever that is) and my Funpain is even higher – excuse the pun.  Over the last many months, I’ve thought more about my addictions than any other time and I feel that I’m taking some good steps.

I feel pretty good that I don’t need some public outcry or therapy – but, realize I’m just a hair away from that, or hair of the dog, I suppose.

Some notes on the negative?

I still drink too much, for sure.  I’ve curtailed drug use to marijuana, but it’s a drug.  And, I think I could take stronger steps.

Some notes on the positive?

I don’t drink as much, smoke as much and am more focused than before I started this.  In fact, I’ve noticed that many of my contemporaries are deeper in the thing than I am.  But, man, we do some great work together – and the love and compassion as people is stronger, clearer – more honest.

So, the goal for the next six months?

Take any use of alcohol or drugs to the weekend only and only two nights at the most; Friday and Saturday.  I have some friends who are going to do this as well.  One, Cole, stares at me like I’m crazy.

“If you want to stop and can’t, then you should get professional help.”  He says, taking a pull from a glass of wine.

“I don’t think I want professional help.”  I say, twirling my glass of bourbon.

“Then stop talking about it.  Look, it’s on your mind and it is to a degree that you keep putting it on my mind and some others.  Hell, man, I’ll work with you on the weekend shit just to get you to shut up about it.”

“You mean that?”

“What night is this?”

“Tuesday.”

“Sure.”  He says then walks to the wine bar and pours more into his glass, his head sideways, eyeing the level it reaches in the glass.  He smiles and puts down the bottle.

“Two glasses, brother.”  He says, back with me.

“I don’t know that I can stop at two.”  I say back, walking to the bar and pouring.

“What choices do you have?   Here we are prescribing therapy, man, and we’re drinking.  Look, If you think your next step is hard cord reduction in intake – I’m in.  I’m all in.  For you.  But, we have to have some hallpasses.”

To realize the value of one year: Ask the student who has failed his final exam.

To realize the value of one month: Ask the mother who has given birth to a premature baby.

To realize the value of one week: Ask the editor of a weekly newspaper.

To realize the value of one day: Ask the daily wage laborer who has 10 kids to feed.

To realize the value of an hour: Ask the lovers who are waiting to meet.

To realize the value of a minute: Ask the person who has missed the train, the bus, or the plane.

To realize the value of a second: Ask the person who has survived an accident.

To realize the value of a millisecond: Ask the person who has won a silver medal in the Olympics.

Set some clear goals.

You’ve got to dream big if you want to succeed on a large scale. Don’t be afraid of your ambitions. Start with a list of what you want to achieve this year, and then select the one goal that would have the greatest positive impact on your life, something you feel real passion for. Then get to work.

Educate yourself about money.

Even if you don’t have your sights set on becoming the next Warren Buffett, a good understanding of finance will help you set priorities and make decisions about spending, investments, and savings. Immerse yourself in all the information you can find about the field that interests you. Knowledge is power.

Think of yourself as your own CEO.

Whether you work for a boss or for yourself, view your career and success as your own. That means taking full responsi­bility for what happens to you—your decisions, failures, and triumphs. It also means putting all your energy into your goals. Motivational guru Brian Tracy advises taking the “40+” approach: You work 40 hours a week for survival, but that’s only the beginning. Every minute you devote past that 40 hours is devoted to your success.

Serve other people.

Structure your goals so they’re not just about you. You’ll earn support from the people whose help you need by showing them how your achievements will benefit them—and you’ll feel better about yourself than you would if you concentrate only on what’s in it for you.

Learn to sell yourself.

Whatever you create, you have to sell to someone else. You’ll need to understand sales and marketing no matter what industry you’re in. But at the same time, you have to sell others on your abilities. Be honest and reliable so customers, investors, and other important stakeholders know they can trust you to take care of them.

In Mumbai, more than 50 people have applied for the job of hanging the surviving gunmen in the 2008 Mumbai attack.  Some come from families of executioners.  Some really want to hang people.

They like how it feels to slide a black hood over a condemned person’s head.  Applying grease to the noose to make sure it slides freely and the explosive sound of moving the lever so the floor parts like the Red Sea, are uplifting to them.

It’s apparently the preferred method of execution in India and with increases in population, crime increases and spreads; and with that virus, the hangman cometh.

Dressed in black; with brass framed aviator shades covering any hint of an eye, or a twitch, or rapid flutter.  Most would like to wear the long coat tails of the vintage hangmen from the western movies.  Even in India.   (a terrible pun, I know)

They practice using bags filled with sand.  They don’t seem to get as much joy filling a bag with sand as they do with the idea of watching a body airless for a split second – the level jacks forward, the floor parts beneath the feet, and for just a hair of a second, they’re still – then they drop like a boulder into a calm lake.

The important thing is to make sure that their neck snaps and there is a quick death.

All that wiggling and jiggling of the hand-tied human being covered to his shoulders with a black hood is unsettling to the required witnesses.  They’re like the people who would rather take a pill to lose weight than to diet and exercise.  Just hang them, please.

And, while this seems to be contrary to the spirituality the nation’s marketers have labeled it with, the Indians can be just as cruel to animals or human begins as any other non card-carrying member of the human race.

A hangman earns $60 or less per hanging.  India’s last hanging was in 2004.  But, with increased crime and a reported availability of cheap guns, the math could work out.  If a guy is living on $60 per week he only needs to hang 4 people a month.  This would go to his rent and electric, cable, internet and food.

There are 350 people on death row.  That’s a good couple of years of work for several guys.

(source:  LA Times 12-19-2011)